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Apr 04

Be Perfect Today: Part V – Do Your Homework

Grace Mae Jan 09 008Recently I sent my 7 year-old granddaughter, Grace, a Seahawks Super Bowl jersey – the fancy one.  I mean, what grandpa doesn’t spoil his grandkids rotten, right?  That’s what we do. N-E-Whooo…I never heard from my daughter, Marissa, that Grace received the package so I texted her. “Hey ‘Riss, did Grace get a package the other day?”  “Oh yeah, Daddy…I’ve been busy and forgot but I’ll have her call you tonight and thank you.”

Around 5 pm yesterday I received the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi Grandpa.”

“Hi Grace, how are you?”

“Fine…”

“Did you get something in the mail the other day?”

“Yes…”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes…”

“Are you wearing it?”

“Yes…”

I’m thinking, “Geez…gettin’ an answer outta this kid is like pulling teeth…”

DSCN1929Marissa comes on the line. “She’s mad, Daddy.  She wants to have her friend come over and play and she can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because she didn’t do her homework, and I told her that her friend can’t come over and play until her homework is done.”

“What kind of homework is she supposed to do?”

“Math.”

“Put her on…”

“Okay. Grace, Grandpa wants to talk to you…”  Silence for a few seconds. “Grace! Come talk to Grandpa!”

It was almost like you could hear Grace dragging to the phone…

“Hello?”

“So I understand you want to play with your friend but you can’t.”

“Uh-huh…”

“Why?”

In a low voice…”Because I didn’t do my homework…”

Grace and Marissa 10-26-09“And you’re mad at your mom?”

“Yes.”

“Is she being mean?”

“Yes.”

“Why”

“Because she won’t let me play with my friend…”

“Okay, let’s stop right there, Grace.  You want to play with your friend, right?”

“Uh-huh…”

“And what do you have to do to play with your friend?”

“My homework…”

“So why are you mad at your mom?”

“I don’t know…”

“Who should you be mad at?”

Silence…

Grace first day of second grade 9-3-14“Grace, who should you be mad at? Shouldn’t you be upset at yourself for not doing your homework?  Because if you do your homework, then you can play with your friend, right?”

“Uh-huh…”

“So it’s not about being mad at Mommie, but being upset with yourself.  Why don’t you want to do your homework?”

“Because it’s hard…”

“You want Grandpa to help you with it?”

Silence.  You could once again hear the gears turning…’uh-oh…what am I getting myself into with him…”

“C’mon, Grace, I’ll help you with your homework.  I was really good at math. Do you have your homework close by?”

“It’s right here…”

“Okay. What are you working on?”

“Hundreds takeaway…”

“Okay. What’s your first problem?”

Without boring you with the minute details, we worked through 8-10 problems.  At first she was answering with a question, you know…

”Grace, what’s 18 takeaway 9?”

“9?”

Grace photoshoot Dec 2013She always got the answer right but was a bit unsure.  Unsure doesn’t work with me.  I responded after the 3rd time of doing that, “Are you asking me or answering me, Grace?  If you’re answering me, then don’t answer in the form of a question.”  She got it right away.

Each problem I gave her less and less help and asked more and more questions, which she readily answered.  I praised her. I told her how proud I was of her for being so smart and answering the questions.

“Grace, how come you said this is hard?  You’re getting every answer right!  You haven’t gotten anything wrong!”

The more problems she did, and the more answers she got correct, the more you could hear the confidence building in her voice.

“How many more do we have left, Grace?”

“Three!!”

“Do you want to finish these so you can play with your friend?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Okay…what’s the next problem?”

On the next to the last problem I asked, “Grace do you know how to ‘proof’ your work?”

“No…”

“Do you know what proofing is?”

“No…”

Grace's 2nd grade picture“Proofing is when if you’re adding the problem, you subtract the bottom number from the answer.  The answer you get should be the same as your top number. If you’re subtracting the problem, you add the bottom number and the answer. The answer you get should be the same as your top number.  Do you understand?”

“Uh-huh…”

“Do you want to learn how to proof your work?”

“Okay!”

So we proofed the last two problems, and she was done.

“Grace, now you know how to proof.  No one else in the class knows how to proof.  You know something they don’t know.”
“I know, Grandpa!”

“And now your homework is all done, which means you can now call your friend and she can come over and play, right?”

“Uh-huh!”

“You go play now, but remember what we talked about, okay? Don’t be mad at other people or blame other people when all you have to do is what you’re supposed to do, and you’ll get what you want, right?”

“Okay!”

P1000606“Who loves you, Gracie?”

“You do!”

“And who will always be there for you?”

“You will.”

“And who can you always call when you need help with your homework?”

“You, Grandpa!”

“Good girl!  I love you, Grace! Now let me speak to your mother.”

I’d like to think that my granddaughter learned a valuable lesson yesterday – the lesson of accountability.  Don’t blame others for situations and circumstances totally within your control. Many competitors could learn this same lesson. Instead of blaming the coach, job, family, significant other, or anything/anyone else for your situation, take a look within. Learn what you need to learn to be able to do what you want to do. Are you TRULY doing everything you should do to be at your competitive best in 5 weeks?  If not, then start. When? Today. Be perfect today.

Doc

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