Today’s blog is a light-hearted look at some of the questions I’ve been asked over the years and the situations I’ve run across. The questions don’t change. The competitors do. In fact, I’ve answered the same questions over-n-over so many times, I can second-guess the person answering and will usually answer the next 2-3 questions in a row. I mean, let’s face it…there’s only so much information competitors can ask dialing down, right? So without further ado, let’s get started…
Will I make it? I don’t think I’ll make it. Are you sure I’ll make it?
Yes, you’ll make it. For the umpteenth time, you’re on schedule. Just follow the plan. You’re coming down nicely. No, we don’t need to change anything. No, you don’t need more cardio at this point. No, we don’t need to cut calories. Yes, I know what I’m doing. Stop freaking out. Yes, you can call me to check in. No, you don’t have to call me every day to check in. Yes, you can send me a picture. No, I don’t need to see a picture every day. Yes, I’ve done this before. Yes, I know I’m not female. No, I don’t know everything.
Am I fat? I’m looking fat. Will I lose this fat in time? Why is this fat not coming off?
You’re not fat. You’re carrying a layer of bodyfat, but you’re not fat. Why do you keep saying you’re fat? Do you think you’re fat? Are your friends telling you you’re fat? Yes, you’ll lose the bodyfat in time. No, I can’t make it come off any faster than your body will allow. No, there’s nothing else we can do…we’re doing it all. Yes, the fat is coming off all over your body but you’re focusing on this one area. It will change. Yes, I know you still have fat on your legs, I can see that. No, I don’t need to feel them. Yes, your butt is getting smaller. No, you won’t keep your boobs. Yes, your butt is more jiggly this week than last…it will tighten back up like it did before. No, you can’t take the fat from your butt and put it in your boobs.
I’m looking better, aren’t I? Am I looking better? I don’t feel like I’m looking better. Why don’t you ever tell me I’m looking better?
Yes, you’re looking better. No, you’re not looking better. If I didn’t think you were looking better, I wouldn’t tell you otherwise. I suppose I could tell you you’re looking better if that’s what you want to hear. No, I don’t need to ask so-n-so how you’re looking…I know how you’re looking. Well if so-n-so keeps telling you you’re looking better, then perhaps you should hire him/her as your coach. Do you want me to lie to you? Please don’t ask me to lie to you. Don’t ask the question you don’t want to hear the answer to. Yes, I’ll tell you when you’re looking better. No, I don’t think you’re looking better after 2 days. Yes, I remember how you looked last week. Yes, I saw the picture of so-n-so on FB earlier. Yes, she’s more lean than you right now. Is her contest tomorrow? Is your contest tomorrow? Let’s compare looks the day of the show only, okay? No, you don’t need to post to FB or IG. The world will lie to you and tell you you’re looking better when you’re not.
What do I eat again (for the 15th time)? I need you to write me out another meal plan. I read so-n-so is following this meal plan? Shouldn’t we switch meal plans?
Eat today what I told you to eat yesterday. I’ll change it when it needs to change. No, we don’t change something just because you didn’t change in the last 24 hours. You want a new meal plan? Write out the one I gave you last week on a different piece of paper. Problem solved…new plan. So-n-so-can follow any plan he or she wants. That’s not the plan I want you on. Yes, I know the plan. No, I’m not going to put you on that plan. No, I don’t want to teach you that plan.
I’m holding a lot of water
That’s not water. It’s fat. Yes, it is, it’s fat. No, I’m not wrong. It’s fat. Look, it was fat yesterday, it’s fat today, and it’ll be fat tomorrow. How do I know? Seriously?? Do me a favor…flex. Did anything ‘pop’? No?? It’s fat. Now lemme alone.
I’m tired of chicken…and salad…and green beans…and…
Well, you can always eat pizza, and burgers, and fries. That IS your choice in life, y’know. We eat chicken and salads and green beans and all the other veggies because they work. Yes, I know of people who diet down on other foods. I’ve seen more failures than success from those plans over the long run. You’re tired of chicken and green beans after 6 weeks? Try 34 years. When you get to 34 years, THEN you can complain about chicken and green beans and salads being boring. Until then, eat chicken, green beans, and salads (or any other protein sources and vegetable sources – I don’t just have my people eat those foods, so chill…)
Do I get a cheat meal? So-n-so gets a cheat meal? Why can’t I have a cheat meal? I thought everyone got cheat meals?
No, you can’t have a cheat meal. Why? Because you’re still fat. Why do you want to put more fat into your already fat body? No cheat meal for you. Yes, when you’re not fat anymore and starving to death, you can have a cheat meal. No, you’re not starving. You just ate. I watched you just eat. How can you be starving?
Why didn’t you tell me it was this hard? I didn’t know this was this hard. This is harder than I thought.
I did tell you. On our first phone consult. When we first met. When I first cleaned up your foods. When I increased your cardio. Every single week I’ve been telling you this was hard. You were the one saying it was easy. Why? Because you had carbs in you. You don’t have carbs in you anymore. Now you want to say it’s hard? I told you a long time ago it would get hard.
Can I have…???
No. If it’s not on the plan, don’t eat it.
Well, what about…???
No. If it’s not on the plan, don’t eat it.
Well how about…””
What part of “No, if it’s not on the plan don’t eat it” don’t you understand?
My husband/wife says I’m changing. I’m not changing, am I? I’m the same person.
Your husband/wife is right. You are changing. You’re changing both physiologically and psychologically. You don’t feel a whole lot different right now but you’re changing. Do you have kids? I’ll bet they’ve noticed the change in you. Why? It’s simple physiology…your body is depleted of carbs. Carbs are the brain’s preferred fuel. No brain fuel, no energy, no function, no personality. Your brain is ‘cranky’ because it’s not being fed properly. That crankiness translates to short-tempered, irritability, mood swings, tiredness, fatigue, sluggishness…all classic signs and symptoms of reducing carbs.
Why are you yelling at me?
I’m not yelling. I’m animated. I’m black. I’m loud. And I’m tired. But I’m not yelling.
Did you see how so-n-so looked?
Nope. I don’t care.
Obviously there are so many more questions I get each season, but I just thought I’d let you into a little bit of the daily and weekly world of my life. Hope you enjoyed it. And think twice before you ask your coach a question that you saw on this blog…
And as always, if this interested you or you think it might be of interest to or help someone else, please share via the social media icons. And don’t forget to subscribe to all future blogs by being automatically notified via email.
Doc
